This is the first post of “Divorce: A Reality Check.” I will assume that the readers of this blog are primarily men and women who are contemplating divorce or are in the process of a divorce or other family law case such as custody or support. Being a participant – willing or not – in a divorce proceeding is like having a hand grenade thrown into the middle of your life. What I hope to achieve through this blog is to enable you, the reader, to develop reasonable, reality based expectations in your case despite the chaos. Accountability flows from reasonable, reality based expectations. Not only should you hold your lawyer accountable for his or her work and effort on your behalf, you should hold yourself accountable for the decisions you make in your case – to do that you need to have realistic expectations regarding: your lawyer, the courts and judges, your opponent and, most importantly the potential consequences of your decisions… and the decisions are yours. The failure to have reasonable expectations of your lawyer, the courts and the divorce process can make you a willing participant in believing you are a victim – of your spouse, his or her lawyer, your lawyer, the court system, the judge or whoever else is available to blame. Right now, if DIVORCE is your life – take charge and own it.